


turtle

by v_ichigo_v



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Im sorry if this is bad, M/M, Middle School AU, an attempt at angst?, and ghost!hinata
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-03-21 03:56:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3676464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/v_ichigo_v/pseuds/v_ichigo_v
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pain sears through him. Hinata can feel himself fall, and with that adding to the pain, it feels horrible. It hurts so much that Hinata tears up. He’s falling and he thinks to himself, Is this it? I’m never going to fulfill my wish to punch Kageyama Tobio in the face?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. i say hello

**Author's Note:**

> hello, and because you might be confused in the beginning, this takes place RIGHT after hinata loses his match with kageyama. Everything before this is what happened in the anime, and from this point is the AU, which is, ghost! hinata haunting(?) kageyama. special thanks to my beta, Austin, and my two story advisers, [Czwizard](http://czwizard.tumblr.com/book) and [Ellen](http://archiveofourown.org/users/HongYue/pseuds/HongYue) ~

Hinata nearly burns his tongue off when he takes a big bite into his steaming meat bun. He sticks his tongue out and waves his hand in front of it, as if it will help the heal the now dissipating pain.

Of course, the pain doesn’t help him forget what happened yesterday. He lost his first middle school match. His team was beaten to a pulp in less than thirty two minutes.

_But I swear on my life_ , Hinata thinks to himself as he opens his mouth to take a bite out of his meat bun, _I’m gonna defeat that asshole if it’s the last thing I--_  
  


From the corner of his eye, Hinata thinks he sees a flash of blue, and there’s a familiar rush, but he can’t quite pinpoint what it is. Surprised, he narrows his eyes for a better look.

It’s Kageyama Tobio.

He’s walking sullenly with a volleyball in his hands, and Hinata can’t help but stare at him. Hinata feels his eyes widen with shock when he sees Kageyama Tobio’s eyes filled with nothing but pure bitterness.

That’s when it hits him. Something heavy slams into him, and he can feel his bones painfully crack like a baseball bat hitting a trusty home run.

Of course, hitting a home run is not the same as feeling your body being crushed by a 400 pound red sports car.

Pain sears through him. Hinata can feel himself fall, and with that adding to the pain, it feels horrible. It hurts so much that Hinata tears up. He’s falling and he thinks to himself, _Is this it? I’m never going to fulfill my wish to punch Kageyama Tobio in the face?_

Then, he’s on the ground. No pain, no hurt, nothing.

Hinata blinks. He blinks again. He twists back and forth, and surprisingly, there’s not much feeling, he’s not hurt or anything.

He sits up, just to make sure he is still in one piece, while he pats his chest, checking to find out if he is still solid. When he is sure he is, Hinata sighs in relief.

_Huh_ , Hinata sniffs. _What even happened? Oh well._

Hinata jumps back up, dusts himself off, and looks both ways of the street, catching sight of Kageyama again, but so much more far away than before.

Curiosity bubbles through him like a volcano, and step by step, Hinata follows him.

It takes him a while at first, but Hinata gradually catches up. Kageyama Tobio can walk surprisingly fast for someone who leaves his head down, but nevertheless, Hinata follows him.

Eventually, a good fifteen minutes passes by and Hinata gets impatient. All this time, he’s been behind Kageyama’s heels, but the latter hasn’t said a single thing.

_Who does he think he is_ , Hinata thinks spitefully as he opens his mouth to capture Kageyama Tobio’s attention.

“Hey! Kageyama Tobio!” He shouts, but he twitches in indignation when he can see the back of Kageyama Tobio’s head lift up before dipping back down.

_Did he just ignore me?_ Hinata thinks incredulously as he speeds up his legs to bound closer to him.

“Hey! Asshole! You hear me?” Hinata tries again, with rage rushing through him when Kageyama doesn’t even show that he heard him, unlike the first time.

_Does he think he’s that much better than me?_ Hinata grumps with a pout.

“Hey! KING!” Hinata shouts for the last time, ready to give up.

Hinata doesn’t think that he will respond, but Kageyama Tobio stops in his tracks, and slowly turns around.

Hinata starts to think that maybe this idea isn’t actually as good as the way it sounded in his head.

“What did you just call me?” Kageyama Tobio’s eyes are narrowed into tiny slits, storming. His mouth slips into a scowl and Hinata realizes that he has never seen someone his age seem so intimidating.

Hinata takes a fearful step back. He didn’t expect Kageyama Tobio to react. Maybe he should have just used better word choice, but what was so bad about the nickname, ‘King’? _I mean, it’s a pretty cool nickname for--_

“Don’t call me that.” The raven head nearly snaps, anger flowing into his eyes like a flooding river, and Hinata is taken back.

“What do you mean, ‘ _don’t call me that_ ’?” Hinata retorts, pretending to ignore the fists that are clenched at Kageyama Tobio’s side. The last thing he wants is to be punched by the guy he hates. “What’s wrong with being called ‘King’?” Hinata finds himself repeating the question he asked himself before.

Before he knows it, Kageyama lunges at him like a predator pouncing on his prey. Hinata shrieks in surprise, and his hands fly up in defense, waiting for the blow that is soon to come.

But it never does.

He doesn’t know how, but he doesn’t feel anything. Well, he had felt something like a wisp of wind, but other than that, he hadn’t felt anything.

Kageyama, on the other hand, is on the other side of him, panting, and still very angry.

“You…” Kageyama breathes between two breaths. “I swear I punched you, so why…” He takes another breath. “Why didn’t I feel anything?”

Hinata cocks his head in confusion, and pats himself. He feels physical and solid.

He didn’t have to believe that bastard if he didn’t want to.

“W-what do you mean?” Hinata asks, still a little scared. Sure, he didn’t have to listen, but that guy’s a good eight inches taller than him and Hinata found it very hard to keep eye contact, especially when they’re looking at you like they want to murder you.

Suddenly, Kageyama lunges at him again, and it’s so unexpected that Hinata can only flinch, but when he opens his eyes and turns around, Kageyama Tobio is on the other side of him again, with the same scowl.

“Are you…” Kageyama starts. “Do you think that this is some kind of _joke_?” He suddenly snaps, dropping his bag on the floor with a soft clutter.

Nevermind from before, Hinata doesn’t doubt it anymore. Kageyama Tobio still scares the shit out of him.

Kageyama Tobio is scary, everything about him is intense, but--

Behind all that rage, behind that wall of intensity, Hinata can see just the tiniest flame of pain. It is so tiny, it could go out any minute, but it stays there, barely.

Hinata hesitantly reaches out an arm. “Hey, are you--”

“Get away from me!” Kageyama Tobio spits out and attempts to slap his hand. Only…

His hand goes _through_ it.

This time, it’s Hinata’s turn to look shocked, not that Kageyama isn’t, from the look on his face.

“Why…” Hinata suddenly chokes out. “I didn’t feel it, I didn’t feel anything, and you hit me right? So how--”

Kageyama Tobio tries hitting him again, and Hinata doesn’t attempt to dodge it this time. Kageyama’s hand swings through his head and he doesn’t feel a thing.

Then, Hinata remembers how he got hit by that car, and it finally clicks because, oh.

“It must have been that car I got hit by!” Hinata exclaims. “That must be it!”

Kageyama Tobio looked way too pissed at him at the moment, but he somehow manages to squeeze in that tiny flicker of surprise; Hinata can see it in his eyes.

“ _What?_ ” Kageyama says thickly. “You got _hit_ by a car, and you’re not in some kind of hospital right now?”

Hinata can’t think of anything else to do but nod, and Kageyama looks at him weirdly.

“So, you’re a...ghost?”

Hinata presses his lips together because he doesn’t know if he is.

“...Aren’t you hurt?” Kageyama says bluntly.

Hinata shrugs. “Not really,” He admits, grinning sheepishly a little. “It’s not like I can feel anything.”

There’s not as much rage in his eyes anymore, but Kageyama Tobio still looks like he would kick the crap out of him. Kageyama turns back around with something that sounds like a scoff. “Whatever, just go back or something. If you’re lost, call your mom, I guess.”

Hinata notices that his words are cold. Well, Kageyama Tobio’s voice was always cold; he could remember it very clearly. He had just seen him yesterday, after all!

“I--” Hinata gets ready to retort, but then he realizes that all this time, his pocket hasn’t been feeling oddly light this whole time, and there’s a wave of dread that flows through him like that one time where he forgot his homework in Math.

He didn’t bring his bike either, because he had _walked_ here, planning to, oh you know, not run into Kageyama Tobio.

“I didn’t bring my phone with me.” Hinata tries to mutter, but Kageyama’s eyes become wide with disapproval for a moment before they go back to being big, black, and scary.

“Fine, I’ll watch you, just go back to your body, or wherever you came from, and I’ll gladly never see you again.” Kageyama seethes bitterly. He throws his head forward, as if sending a mental message to go back. “And, along with that, I’ll just assume that you won’t want to see me either.”

Hinata opens his mouth to say something about his attitude and that he should seriously consider improving it, but that shallow feeling from before washes over again, almost instantly telling him that this is dangerous territory, and that this line should not be crossed.

“Fine.” Hinata mutters. “But I’ll let you know that you won’t get rid of me so easily. I’ll still beat you in volleyball.”

Something different than pain flashes across Kageyama Tobio’s eyes,  but it doesn’t support any less of his reaction from before. He nods curtly, and Hinata isn’t sure if it’s stiff acknowledgement or what.

Hinata can feel Kageyama’s gaze on him as he walks back. It doesn’t take him that long, but eventually, they both arrive at the Miyagi Prefectural Volleyball Center, where everything had started for them.

Well, for Hinata, at least.

Kageyama Tobio nods. “Go.”

Hinata snorts and makes his way ahead, looking for the red 400 pound car that had collided with his body before.

But he doesn’t see a red car, and he doesn’t see his body.

It isn’t there.

Hinata’s eyes widen in confusion. His gaze flicks wildly from side to side and from the corner of his eye, he can see, and feel, Kageyama’s stare, burning a hole into him.

Hinata has now concluded that if looks could kill, he would have been long dead by now.

Suddenly scared that he will be alone, he tries again, desperately searching for an orange head. _His_ orange head. Orange is noticeable, right?

He must have been taking too long, because not soon after, he hears that same familiar voice.

“Hurry up,” says the taller male from behind him. “I don’t want to be dealing with your problems.”

Hinata bristles. “Technically, it was your fault I got hit by a car, asswipe! Stop blaming people for things that you did too!”

Kageyama’s lips tighten into a line and he turns around swiftly. “What the hell are you talking about?” He says with a scoff. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You did!” Hinata protests. “It’s because I--” Then he stops, because how awkward would it be if he told Kageyama Tobio that he got hit by a car because he was looking at him? That would make him sound like some sort of stalker, and he _isn’t a stalker_.

Kageyama seems to open his mouth to try and add something but then Hinata sees that Kageyama’s gaze stops on some nearby caution tape, and Hinata, himself, can hear the faint sound of an ambulance.

“See?” Kageyama questions. “Hear that? It means that someone’s coming to save you. All you need to do is wait here.” Kageyama adjusts his bag on his shoulder. “I don’t have for time for this, I need to go back home.” He says this last part with a scoff and starts to turn around.

There’s a sudden pang of being alone that makes Hinata try and grab his sleeve, but his distress only increases when his hand goes through it.

“Wait!” Hinata tries. He doesn’t want to be alone, even if it means staying with this jerk.

Then, another thought hits him that’s equally scary, and it makes him paw at Kageyama’s arm even more. Kageyama tries brushing him off, but Hinata feels triumphant when his arm goes through his body.

“Please!” Hinata shouts. “Just let me stay with you! At least until I find my body again.”

“No. Your body is in the ambulance, how many times to I have to tell you?” Kageyama shoots back, but eventually makes his voice quieter because people are starting to stare. Kageyama tries walking ahead, but Hinata catches up.

“Please?” Hinata pleads. “Just for a week? Or maybe even a day! Just until--”

“What don’t you get about ‘No’?! ‘No’ means ‘No’!” Kageyama barks. Then he swiftly turns away and starts walking again.

Hinata’s shoulders fall, but they shake with rage at the same time. This asshole hasn’t changed since the day before, so why did he even expect anything from him? He still has that shitty personality from yesterday…

“But--” Hinata is close to crying now. “I don’t want to be alone! And what if…”

_“What if you’re the only one who can see me?”_

The thought of Kageyama being the only one who can hear or see him makes Hinata scrunch his eyes together, because no one else has really paid attention to him this whole time. They looked at Kageyama as if he was crazy, but everyone that even caught his eye was just looking through him, not at him.

“You can stay for a day.”

Hinata’s train of thought screeches to a stop, because did he just hear what he thought he just heard?

“You--”

“But only for a day. You’re sleeping on the floor of my room for a day, and then I’m kicking you out. Got it?”

Kageyama Tobio’s back is still turned to him, but he’s walking on the inside of the sidewalk, as if making space for him.

Hinata’s mouth twitches upward. Maybe this jerk isn’t so bad after all.

“I’m going to get the _best_ seat on the bus!” Hinata shouts and runs ahead of him.

“HEY! WAIT, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

****  


 

 

****  


Kageyama honestly just wanted to take the bus home and sleep for the rest of the day. He didn’t want to think about volleyball for a long time, and he especially didn’t want anyone else seeing him in this state.

Although it would kill him to admit it, Kageyama wanted to curl up in a ball against a corner and just sit there until all his thoughts about volleyball would vanish. Which would be a long time, because he thinks about volleyball a lot.

The carrot head may have thought that Kageyama didn’t recognize him at first, but to tell the truth, Kageyama had his face saved in his memory.

He didn’t know the boy’s name, but one thing was certain. He was the shorty had radiated amazing potential in their match the other day.

But Kageyama thought he was annoying. Anyone can say that they won’t give up. But who is to say that they actually fulfilled what they told themselves. Kageyama hated it when people said that they would do something but never achieved it. You were only lying to yourself and that’s the absolute worst thing.

But this Shorty, on the other hand, did not give up. Not at the end, and definitely not at their matches’ climax. Everytime he had locked eyes with him on the court, there would always be a gleam in his brown eyes.

Kageyama hated it. He wanted the Shorty to _give up_. he wanted to see him break, after realizing that the world isn’t as fair as he thought it was.

But then, even after he lost, that boy still stood up, taller than he was before, and Kageyama hated it even more.

Even now, Kageyama’s eyes flick downward. The Shorty was next to him at the moment humming with his hands contently in his pockets.

It irritated him.

It irritated him that his match ended early for him today. It irritated him that no one was ever fast enough to hit his tosses. It angered him that the Shorty was so fast but he never put it to any good use during their match, and what’s the point of having skill if you’re not going to use it to your full potential?

He didn’t need Kunimi if he didn’t want to take volleyball seriously. He didn’t need Kindaichi if he couldn’t hit his spikes fast enough. He’d go to highschool and carve his own team, his team who would take volleyball seriously and hit his tosses without complaint.

Why was God doing this to him? Why was he placing someone who just might be able to spike his tosses next to him, when Kageyama knows that it’s not possible for them to even get along, much less stop fighting for just five minutes?

_He_ would be the best. _He_ would go to nationals.

He was a force to be reckoned with. So why--

“Hey? Kageyama Tobio?”

Kageyama stops, but not without scowling at the use of his full name. “What?”

“You look really scary. Right now, you look like you want to punch someone or something like that!” The boy gripes.

Kageyama is horrified when he feels his mouth twitch slightly upward.

“Hey, Kageyama Tobio--”

“Just call me ‘Kageyama’!” He sighs, exasperated.

“Oh!” The boy brightens. “Then, you can just call me ‘Hinata’!”

Kageyama thinks for a moment. “Hinata…?”

Kageyama realizes that his name describes the boy in general. Too cheery, too bright. So bright, that it was bothersome.

Kageyama can hear Hinata choke on his breath. “You didn’t even know my _name_?”

Kageyama doesn’t have the decency to feel sheepish.

“It was your skill that I remember, therefore, it was more important.”

Hinata scowls. Kageyama can see his facial features change.

“...Skill?” Hinata starts reluctantly.

Kageyama nods. “Yeah, skill. You don’t have a lot of it though. You’re an amateur compared to me.”

“Hey!” Hinata tries hitting him, but the arm goes through Kageyama anyway. “Listen, I’m gonna get a lot better than you, and I’m--”

“Yeah, that all depends if you’re going to end up dead first.”

The moment Kageyama says it, he almost wishes he didn’t. The look on Hinata’s face isn’t worth it.

It’s silent for a moment, before Hinata breaks the silence.

“What do you mean...’dead’?” He says the last word quiet and Kageyama can see Hinata’s tiny shoulders shake a little.

Kageyama clears his throat, not helping but feel awkward this time.

“You said a car hit you,” He starts, looking at Hinata straight in the eye. “We couldn’t find your body, but the police were there, so we can confirm that--”

Kageyama freezes when he hears a sniffle from the other side of him. Kageyama slowly turns his head, only to have his jaw drop a little in horror.

Hinata is crying. _Well, he’s tearing up, but that’s kind of the same thing_ , Kageyama thinks.

Hinata hiccups. “I d-didn’t think about that…”

For a second, Kageyama nearly panics. He’s not good with kids, and this kids pretty short so he looks like a kid and _he’s just not good with kids. Period._

Then, he sees Hinata sniff hard and wipe roughly at his eyes with his sleeve.

_Seems like he can feel himself_ , Kageyama suddenly thinks. _Just not physical objects_. Just thinking about the way he had lashed out at the boy had made him a little abashed.

Kageyama almost groans and holds himself not to roll his eyes when Hinata looks at him defiantly and says, “What?” sounding more like a command rather than a question.

_Who knew that the same guy yesterday, all prideful with his head up, was the same guy crying right now?_

Kageyama clears his throat, not quite knowing what to do. He has this horrible feeling that just insulting him might make it even worse, and since he doesn't want to deal with crying, he refrains from making any wisecracks.

“Listen, forget about it for now. I told you that you could stay at my house for a day--”

At this, Hinata easily brightens. “Oh yeah!”

Too easy, Kageyama snorts to himself as attempts to grab his arm in vain.

“Let’s go!” Hinata says with a smile, and Kageyama, who only attempts one, grudgingly obliges.

  * \-     -




Hinata sees that volleyball across the room and sprints to grab it, spin it, bounce it, because _it’s volleyball._

Hinata feels a rush of excitement when he can actually feel the volleyball, and eagerly lifts it up for more contact. Instead, it slips through his fingers like wind.

Hinata frowns. He had picked it up for a second.

Just then, Kageyama bursts in, panting.

“Don’t mess up my--” Hinata hears Kageyama stop when he tries picking up the volleyball again. This time, Hinata can’t even feel the volleyball, the texture, the small instant feeling of weight…

Nothing.

Then, Kageyama storms over, snatches the volleyball from the ground, and scowls.

“Hey. Don’t touch any of my stuff.”

“Technically, I didn’t touch it,” Hinata smarts, still disappointed.

Kageyama just scoffs in disbelief and collapses on his bed.

“Then, you might as well sleep on the floor.” Kageyama mutters.

Hinata’s eyes narrow. “What did you say?’

“If you can’t ‘feel’ anything,” Kageyama continues, “Then sleep on the floor. Besides, it’s not like you’re much use anyway, being here in my room. I doubt you could feel ‘uncomfortable’. I’m surprised you haven’t disappeared through the floor.”

Hinata grits his teeth and lunges at Kageyama, but it’s no use, and he goes right through.

“See?” says Kageyama, saying it almost smugly.

“Asshole.” Hinata spits out.

Hinata looks around for something, anything, to hit Kageyama with. Maybe that volleyball; he could try picking it up again, but something tells him it won’t work. However, Kageyama, to his dismay, is right, and everything he touches gives him the feeling that he’s looking for something when he knows it’s not there.

It’s late, and Kageyama falls asleep in a matter of minutes. Hinata wants to scold him, because _he needs to brush his teeth_ , but then, Hinata gets the feeling that it wouldn’t be appreciated if he woke him up now.

The volleyball on Kageyama’s desk catches his eye and Hinata decides for himself that the volleyball looks very lonely.

 

 

 

 

Kageyama wakes up to a volleyball smacking his face. The impact almost makes him fall off of his bed, knocking his lamp over on his desk.

“What the--” The covers get tangled in his legs and leave him half hanging off the edge of the mattress.

“O-oops,” says a familiar voice, and Kageyama, now wide awake, feels a flash of anger.

He glances around his room, now trashed. Shelves are half-torn off, books are on the floor and papers are scattered across the room.

“YOU DUMBASS!” Kageyama shouts. “What the hell are you doing?!”

He spots Hinata, his orange hair more of a mess than usual, smiling.

“Oh, hey, Kageyama, you’re awake!”

Kageyama scowls. “ And whose fault is that?”

Hinata winces. “Oh, yeah. Sorry, BUT!” Hinata perks and jumps a little. “Look!”

Kageyama doesn’t want to look. Kageyama wants to go to sleep and not give a single--

His eyes go wide. Hinata’s grinning wide, holding a volleyball in his hands as if it’s the frailest thing on Earth.

“You…” Kageyama starts, shocked at the sudden development.

“Yeah!” Hinata beams. “Look!” Hinata manages to balance the ball in his palm, tongue sticking out in utter concentration. “Look at what I can do now! I can--”

“--Touch things.” Kageyama finishes for him, still disbelieving. He’s only half-awake, so maybe he isn’t.

“Well, sorta.” Hinata mumbles, and his lips scrunch together. “It’s really draining and I still need a lot of practice. If I don’t try really hard, it’s gonna fall out of my ‘grip’.”

Kageyama scowls again. “Wait, what do you mean you--”

“I just threw stuff around!” says Hinata, humming out loud. “I didn’t think you would mind, well, I did a little, but--”

“Of course I mind!” Kageyama snaps. “Look at what you did to my room!”

“Uh, well.” Hinata says nervously. “I’m sorry. I really am. But I can touch things now!” To prove his point, Hinata grabs the volleyball from before and tosses it. It hits one of Kageyama’s lamps.

“Oops,” says Hinata.

“Stop,” growls Kageyama.

Hinata pouts. “What? Aren’t you happy for me? C’mon, I practiced for a long time last night! Once I perfect this, you can punch me to your heart’s content or whatever--”

“You didn’t sleep?” Kageyama hears someone say, and with a sudden jolt, he realizes it was him.

Hinata only tilts his head. “How can I? I can’t feel anything, remember?”

Kageyama doesn’t know how to respond to that. His jaw, slightly dropped before, drops more in shock. Kageyama can’t help but wonder if this would affect Hinata’s real body.

Actually, they still needed to find Hinata’s body.

“Well,” Kageyama announces. “I’m going back to sleep. Don’t wake me up this time.”

He climbs back into bed, longing for that warmth that had been so selfishly taken from him because of an idiot and a volleyball. Feeling his eyes already starting to become heavy, he slowly pulls the covers over himself, only for it to be whipped off onto the floor.

“You can’t!” He can hear Hinata scream. “You have school!”

Then, Kageyama starts to feel nauseous and grits his teeth. He picks up the upturned covers from the floor and turns to his side, so that he doesn’t have to look at Hinata. “I’m not going.

“What do you mean you’re not going?!” Hinata shrieks. “What about volleyball practice--”

“I don’t want to go to volleyball practice,” Kageyama scoffs. “Just leave me alone, it’s been a night already. Aren’t you going to leave?”

There’s a moment of silence, and for a second, Kageyama thinks that Hinata has actually left. Then he feels cold, and the covers fly off him once more.

“You...should go to school.” Hinata says behind him, voice soft.

Kageyama pulls his head back to his pillow. “Why should I?”

“Your mom would get upset.”

“She’s already left for work anyway.”

“Your grades--”

“They weren’t all that good to start with.” Kageyama snorts.

Kageyama feels a small stifle of laughter next to him, and he turns over to face Hinata, angry.

“What’s so funny?”

Hinata immediately stops giggling. “N-nothing, just…” Hinata scratches the back of his head. “Uh, me too. My grades, I mean.”

For a moment, Kageyama stares with narrowed eyes. Then, he snorts again and turns back over. He can feel Hinata shift on the mattress and Kageyama hopes that he’s given up.

“But what about volleyball?”

Kageyama tries to wash away the wave of bitterness that crashes into his stomach. He let’s out a harsh sigh, hoping to hide it. “Listen, I already told you--”

“BUT YOU LOVE VOLLEYBALL!” Hinata blurts out. “And you’re really good and you have a team and everything! I had to make one myself you know?”

_That’s still better than being rejected by your so-called ‘team’._

Kageyama doesn’t want to talk about Kitagawa Daiichi being a ‘team’.

“We’re not really a team,” Kageyama says with another scoff, but then he feels the bitterness climbing up his chest again and the scoff turns into a glare. “I’m better than all of them, really. They don’t think volleyball is important. Not like I do.”

When Hinata doesn’t respond, Kageyama dares to look at him, but he only sees Hinata’s confused gaze.

“Wait, then, shouldn’t you have a game today? I nearly forgot, your school is, like, the best in the prefecture! The Miyagi Prefectural Volleyball Center--”

“I’m not going, and I don’t have a game today.” Kageyama snaps. Sick and tired of bantering, Kageyama sits up, and starts pulling his pants on.

Hinata shakes his head, still in confusion. “Wait! Your game--”

“It doesn’t matter.” Kageyama deadpans, the anger and bitterness mixing together in his stomach to create something even more ugly. “Just leave me alone.”

Somehow, in the way he is now, he manages to catch a bus. Honestly, he’d do anything to keep Hinata from discovering what happened yesterday.

_It doesn’t matter_ , Kageyama tells himself. _It doesn’t matter._

_**  
** Yeah_, says a voice that sounds annoyingly like Oikawa-san’s. _Keep telling yourself that._


	2. slowing down to match your steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Class has started but Kageyama can’t tell how long it’s been. It feels like an hour, honestly, but it’s probably been just twenty minutes. Kageyama can’t focus. Mrs. Amaki’s voice sounds muffled, and his eyes are heavy. He isn’t sure if it’s because he couldn’t sleep properly the night before, or that his volleyball senses were always tingling.
> 
> It’s probably volleyball.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry char
> 
> also japanese schools have the teachers rotating through the classrooms, not the students. the students stay in one place. just fyi

Kageyama is in the middle of figuring out what the value of x is when he sees a flash of orange at the corner of his eye. Panicking, he drops his pencil. Muttering a muffled ‘shit’ under his breath, he picks it up from the ground.

“Kageyama-kun,” snaps Mrs. Amaki. “Is there a problem?”

Well, if he didn’t have everyone’s attention on him before, he certainly did now. He manages to croak out a small ‘no’ and returns his attention back to his math workbook. Kageyama continues to see the top of someone with fluffy orange hair outside the window.

****  


* * *

 

When the lunch bell rings, Hinata’s not hanging around the window anymore and Kageyama sighs in irritation. He doesn’t bother to pack any of his stuff up, leaving his desk completely cluttered and messy. He was going to come back anyway.

He somehow finds Hinata near the back of the school, close to the gym, watching his teammates train during lunch. He would usually be there too, practicing his serves.

Kageyama swipes at Hinata’s jacket hood, but his hand goes through. He jolts a little, but remembers that Hinata’s technically not here.

“Hey, dumbass.” Kageyama gripes impatiently. “What are you--”

“Wait,” he hears Hinata whine eagerly. With a deep sigh, Kageyama grits his teeth.

“What--”

“I said wait!” Hinata presses, kicking his legs in the air in impatience.

“What?” Kageyama finally snaps. “What’s more important than--”

His ears catch on the familiar sound of a volleyball slamming against the court and the squeaking of volleyball shoes against the wooden floor.

Volleyball.

Kageyama can feel himself stiffen, his jaw clenching.

The scuffling against the court. The cries of triumph when a good spike is slammed onto the wooden floor.

Volleyball.

“Hey, do you think we can play volleyball?” Hinata’s voice messes up his train of thought. “You can toss to me and--”

“No.” Kageyama quickly says, hoping that Hinata didn’t hear that tiny crack in his voice. But he can tell that Hinata knows he’s denied the request a bit too quickly.

“Why?” Hinata groans, pouting. “You like tossing; you’re a setter! You’re the King of The Court, aren’t you?”

There’s a blast of anger crashing down into his stomach and itdrops all the way down to his feet, and then back up to his chest.

“Hey.”

He’s looking down now, but he can still see Hinata’s orange hair from the side.

“Eh--?”

“Don’t--” Kageyama growls, his fury reverberating and his outrage climbing to his throat. It feels like it’s burning his mouth. “--call me that.”

He didn’t mean to sound so angry, but honestly, he is. He’s angry. He’s angry at Hinata for not making use of his three years in middle school. He’s angry with his volleyball team. For fuck’s sake, he’s even angry at himself. Only it’s a bit different. The anger with himself hits a little deeper, matters a little more.

He remembers them, loud and clear.

“King.”

His teeth grit together and his hands at his sides clench into fists.

Kageyama vaguely remember that breathing helps so he tries to exhale. But every time he took in a breath, the fire in his chest intensifies.

His hands that he barely had been able to keep at his sides began to shake. He dug his nails into his palm so hard, he was sure it would leave marks.

“Kageyama?”

He jolts out of his thoughts, and spins wildly to see his volleyball coach.

“Kageyama, the lunch bell rang,” his coach starts. “You were just standing there, so I didn’t know if you--”

“Sorry, I was just--” Kageyama’s throat constricts. He looks around for Hinata, but the shorty was gone.

He doesn’t need to look at his to coach to know that he’s taking pity on him. So he doesn’t.

“...Kageyama, about that match yesterday--”

“It’s no problem,” Kageyama mutters quickly. “Really.”

Kageyama swears that he looks up long enough to see the coach revert his face into something stern, but he tenses again when it again, morphed into something sympathetic.

“Actually, Kageyama, I’ve been thinking.” The coach says it in a tone that makes Kageyama feel a wave of uneasiness spread from head to toe.

“Maybe,” The coach wavers with a note of reluctance. “Maybe you should take a break from the team. And volleyball,” he adds hastily when he sees Kageyama’s face.

Kageyama realizes that all those other times he had felt crushed was just strongly shaken, and his mind registers that, yes, this was what it was really like to have everything in your hands fall apart.

“What?” Kageyama says, incredulous, and makes a good effort to not sound as defeated as he actually felt. “You’re kicking me off the team?”

“Kageyama.” The coach looks disappointed now and and Kageyama thinks that he must be, he was the setter. And the setter is supposed to bring out the best in everyone from the team. He can’t bring the best out of everyone if they can’t do their best; that’s like preparing themselves to fail, or worse, they didn’t even like volleyball.

“Well, you do realize that the season’s over right? You’re graduating soon, Kageyama--”

“I didn’t care about that,” Kageyama snaps harshly, forgetting the respect he is supposed to show for his elders. “Volleyball is--”

“Kageyama.” The coach doesn’t looks disappointed anymore, only shame. “The bell rang--”

“I know.” Kageyama says stiffly. “If you don’t mind, Coach, I’ll be leaving now.”

He half expects Coach to run after him, to tell him that this wasn’t real, it’s all a joke and he’ll be back on the team in no time.

He’s walking fast. He refuses to unclench his fists. He doesn’t care if he’s late anymore. The only thing he cared about now was volleyball.

“Kageyama?” The voice sounds small, hesitant.

Kageyama whirls around, with narrowed eyes.

“What?” He manages to constrain his scowl a little bit, but it doesn’t make him feel any more happy.

Hinata flinches. “What was--”

“It was nothing.” Kageyama says flatly. “Forget about it.”

He forgets how small Hinata is sometimes but he manages to take advantage of his full height, looming over Hinata.

“That wasn’t nothing.” Hinata looks him straight in the eye and glares right back.

Kageyama has to admit, he is impressed with Hinata standing his ground, but it doesn’t help him in anyway.

“Why did the coach--”

Kageyama can’t stand it anymore. If he gets anymore frustrated, he will explode. Kageyama faintly remembers his mom telling him that if you are ever angry or frustrated in a situation, you walk away, so Kageyama does just that.

It isn’t easy though. He only takes a few steps forward but the rage still seeps down into his stomach.

“Kageyama--”

“Leave.” Kageyama snarls, not bothering to turn back to face Hinata. This isn’t the first time he’s interrupted someone today and it sure won’t be the last.

He doesn’t need to look at Hinata to know that Hinata is angry as well.

“I was only trying to help--”

“Well, you can’t help okay? You can’t do anything to help me. You saw what happened, didn’t you?”

Kageyama’s waiting for a response. He’s waiting and he gets impatient fast. After a couple more seconds, he turns around, irritated that the dumbass has wasted so much of his time--

But Hinata was gone.

Ignoring that ugly feeling in his stomach that turned into something even more worse, Kageyama takes his time walking to his next class. If the teacher was disapproving, she didn’t bother showing it.

Trying to stay away from the thought of Hinata, he told himself that if he saw a flash of orange, it was probably just a bird, or flower, or whatever.

****  


Soon, school is over, and Kageyama doesn’t dare to even spare a glance at the gym. He isn’t  going to give them the satisfaction of letting them see him like this.

Honestly, he didn’t understand. He didn’t get why coach would kick him off. All he needed is someone to toss to. That was all he ever needed, so why?

Kageyama sees orange running at him, and he jumps back a little in reflex. It’s Hinata, Kageyama faintly registers as Hinata pouts.

“Finally! You’re finished with class! Can we go home now?” Hinata says, sliding right next to Kageyama as if it was ready routine, already set in stone. For some reason, Kageyama isn’t bothered by it too much, but the flash of the volleyball falling to the ground comes back to him, and Kageyama freezes, scooting away.

He would have expected Hinata to be hurt in some way but instead, Hinata just frowns. “Man, you’re still mad? Well, I can’t blame you, that sucks.”

After saying his part, Hinata is oddly quiet, and Kageyama doesn’t know what to say, except something bitter in return, but he thinks twice and tells himself that it would be unfair to Hinata. So instead, he grunts somewhat in appreciation and pretends not to see the sunny smile Hinata is now projecting at him.

* * *

 

Hinata realizes that as time goes by, Kageyama doesn’t care much about anything. Lately, he’s been just a little meaner, but at the same time, just a little more broken, despite doing a decent job at hiding it. He knows that Kageyama is an asshole, but some assholes have feelings, so Kageyama is the perfect example. But Hinata doesn’t mind. He doesn’t know what happened,  but he knows enough not to pry into it too much.

The weird thing is, though, about being in this form is that he can’t really eat. He can touch stuff, but if he touches something for too long, his body gets really heavy, so he has to drop it. It gives Hinata a bad feeling, but he ignores it for now.

Kageyama’s snarling face jumps into mind, and Hinata presses his lips together. It isn’t that he’s hurt because Kageyama had snapped at him like that, but rather the broken look in Kageyama’s eyes.

_Kageyama shouldn’t look like that_ , Hinata thinks to himself. _Even though he’s a huge asshole, he can't just keep everything inside all by himself._

Hinata remembers that his mother had told him the story about the turtle and the hare. It’s a popular story tale about a hare and a turtle racing each other. The hare was so fast, but the turtle took his time.

Kageyama is a lot like the hare. But without the ears, and the whiskers, and--yeah. And the other fact that Kageyama would probably not stop during the race and keep going anyway. Even Hinata knows that Kageyama needs to slow down a little, especially from what he’s seen today. Kageyama may have tried to cover it up, but Hinata knows what he saw.

But even if it’s just a little, Hinata wants to fix Kageyama. Fix that broken gaze of his and make it into something incredible. As he watches Kageyama’s back rise slowly in an attempt of fake sleep, Hinata can’t help but wonder if Kageyama would ever warm up to him.

* * *

 

Kageyama looks horrible in the morning. His hair's a mess on his head and Kageyama looks half-asleep.

“Kageyama!” Hinata says, shaking him a little. “School!”

Kageyama lets out another grunt like the day before and rolls on his stomach. “Can I have five minutes?”

“No! You’re going to miss the bus!” says Hinata, a little frantic at this point because it’s already been ten minutes and Kageyama keeps saying ‘five more minutes’ and slapping Hinata’s arm away as if he was his own personal alarm clock with the ‘snooze button’.

Good thing he doesn’t have a snooze button.

Hinata snatches a pillow, buried under Kageyama’s covers, brings it over his head, and slams it hard down on Kageyama’s shoulders.

“Wake--up--Kage--yama--!” Hinata punctuates this with a hit, each one harder than the last.

Kageyama stirs and before Hinata can react, a pillow is thrown into Hinata’s face, but it goes through him. Kageyama seems to realize this as Hinata smirks back at him, triumphant, and Kageyama sits up in bed, yelling “Fine, I’ll get up, STOP THROWING PILLOWS AT ME!”

Hinata thinks he sees a hint of a smile on Kageyama’s sleep-ridden face, and Hinata can’t help but smile too.

* * *

 

It’s funny how different everything is when Hinata is involved, good or bad. _Waking up this morning...wasn’t as hard as yesterday_ , Kageyama thinks to himself as he arrives at the gates of his school, faintly missing Hinata’s humming.

They had made a deal. Hinata stays at home and Kageyama goes to school. Yesterday was an absolute disaster, and Kageyama doesn’t want to go through that again. Just thinking about Hinata’s hurt face made him uncomfortable, but then again, Hinata’s overly sensitive and emotional.

His eye catches glimpse of the gym, but it’s bittersweet. He wants to play volleyball and he wants to toss but...not to them. He can’t trust any of them anymore and they had made it obvious that they didn’t either.

Bitterness rises from Kageyama’s stomach and he swallows it down, for the sake of his pride and volleyball. As much as he hated to admit it, Coach was right, and his teammates probably wouldn’t want to see him if he didn't want to either.

* * *

 

Class has started but Kageyama can’t tell how long it’s been. It feels like an hour, honestly, but it’s probably been just twenty minutes. Kageyama can’t focus. Mrs. Amaki’s voice sounds muffled, and his eyes are heavy. He isn’t sure if it’s because he couldn’t sleep properly the night before, or that his volleyball senses were always tingling. It’s probably volleyball.

(His fingers twitch for that feeling of tossing. More specifically, the feeling of tossing the ball and someone spiking it.

The spike landing with a resounding slam against the court. The whistle blowing. The winning--)

“--Test tomorrow,” is what Kageyama manages to make out, and a wave of panic rushes through him as the lunch bell rings. The clattering of his class being dismissed jerks him out of his daze and he looks around. How long has he zoned out? Long enough to miss two of his classes? There’s even a test tomorrow and Kageyama didn’t even know what subject this was.

Desperate, Kageyama turns to the only possible person who could’ve taken notes that he actually knows.

“Kindaichi!” he shouts, finding him near the door with his bag on his shoulder.

“Do you have the notes...for tomorrow’s test?”

There’s a silence and Kageyama is getting impatient, but when Kindaichi finally responds, Kageyama is lost for words.

Kindaichi glares and him and scoffs, shaking his head. “The king should be able to do everything himself, shouldn’t he? Just use your brain you use for volleyball and study with that. Oh wait, you already do. Tough luck, King.”

Kageyama can feel his eyes widen as Kindaichi swiftly walking out the door with Kunimi trailing behind him. His feet are frozen to the door and his throat gets unbearably tight. Kindaichi...isn’t usually like that...

Ignoring the hurt that throbs in his chest, Kageyama plops himself on his seat and sits there until the lunch bell rings again, the signal for classes to resume.

* * *

 

Kageyama promptly decides to try Kunimi next. He finds Kunimi at his shoe locker, expression unreadable.

“Yes, Kageyama-sama?” Kunimi asks with a surprisingly bitter tone. “How may I help you?”

Kageyama almost chokes on his words but he forces himself to keep going. He’s starting to wonder whether this was all for the test or for getting his position on the volleyball team back.

“Notes.” Kageyama hears himself fumble a little with his words, which is unusual, even for him. “Do you have the--”

“I’m sorry, Kageyama, I do not have the notes.”

“You didn’t--?”

“Well, Kageyama, even if I did take the notes, I don’t really need to give them to you. Besides, you know me, right? I wouldn’t go that extra mile.”

Kageyama knows that Kunimi’s words were a stab. “Listen, about last weekend--”

“Don’t, Kageyama,” Kunimi interrupts, giving Kageyama a glare identical to Kindaichi’s. “Sometimes, if you want something, you have to do it yourself. I thought you would know that better than anyone else.”

Kageyama is again lost for words when Kunimi walks away. The pain from earlier today returns and he feels...really awful. He knows that last weekend may have been a little out of his...well, what’s the point of chasing after something when you don’t show the passion for it? He tries shaking it off, like he always does, but he couldn’t this time.

* * *

 

“Hinata.”

“Mhm?”

“Forget the deal; just come to school with me.”

“Eh? Why?”

“...”

“Oh, is it because you missed me--OW!”

* * *

 

Hinata is surprised that Kageyama would even want him there in the first place. It's more odd than surprising, though, and Hinata starts getting suspicious when Kageyama just sits on the edge of his bed, spinning his volleyball in his hands.

"Hinata." Kageyama's voice jerks him out of Hinata's train of thought. "You love volleyball, right?"

Hinata looks at him, more than a little angry. "Of course I do," Hinata says, feeling his vice raise dangerously high. "Why would you--"

"If you had to measure it, where would you put volleyball?"

Hinata opens his mouth to argue, ready to fight back, but he looks properly at Kageyama to fine him with honest and genuine intentions.

"I can't really measure volleyball. It would always be number one, but I can't put a score on it." Hinata pauses when Kageyama goes back to looking at his volleyball, no longer genuine and more despondent. "Kageyama--"

"What?" Kageyama looks up slowly, still spinning his volleyball in his hands.

"It's the same for you...right? I mean, you're so good at it! And you had a real team, right?"

"They were no team," Kageyama spits so suddenly, Hinata jerks back a little.

"What do you mean by--"

"I don't really want to talk about it, okay?" Kageyama yells back, obviously confused and hurt.

Hinata won't take any of this shit anymore.

"Kageyama, you can't keep this in forever. I'm your friend, so you should tell me what's wrong," Hinata says, nervously squeezing the fabric of his shirt, wondering if this was the right way to go.

"Friend? I don't really...have any..." Kageyama mumbles, the volleyball dropping to the floor. Hinata realizes that it's the first time he's let it go since he came back from school today. "You don't need friends in volleyball, anyway."

Hinata presses his lips together angrily and stands up, abrupt and sudden. "Kageyama," Hinata says, eerily quiet. "That is not true."

Kageyama is strangely silent and scoffs. "See, this is why I didn't want to talk about it with you."

"Hey! Just to let you know--"

"You wouldn't know," Kageyama says harshly. "Your whole volleyball 'team'--"(Kageyama makes quotation points around the words 'team', and Hinata bristles.) "--was made up of people you could find. And you got along with them, so--"

"Just because I got along with them didn't mean they were friends." Hinata feels absolutely horrible saying these things about his former teammates, but it was true. "Well, some were old friends of mine, and we had fun, but..." Hinata trails off, looking at the side.

"They weren't really...what you could call real team...I mean, I couldn't really do anything but jump, you know?"

There's a strange silence and for a second, Hinata thinks he might have said something wrong. Just as he's searching his mind for anything offensive he might have said, Kageyama finally says something.

"...But you jump high."

Hinata looks up at him, surprised. "Uh, yeah? Thanks--"

"...No, you really jump," Kageyama fidgets, looking uncomfortable. "Kind of like..."

"Kind of like what?" Hinata tilts his head to the side a little, eyebrows furrowed. "C'mon, Kageyama! Tell me!"

Hinata can hear Kageyama mutter something under his breath, but Hinata can't quite catch it.

"Wait, say it again, I couldn't hear!" Hinata crawls closer to Kageyama, but he jerks away.

"I said _you suck_. Happy?"

Hinata can hear the silent 'you big baby' follow after it and his jaw drops.

"HEY!"

* * *

 

“Kageyama, get up if you don’t want me to use the pillow method on you again!” Hinata shouts, jumping on his bed, making deliberate, heavy, blows to the mattress so that every time Hinata jumped on it, Kageyama is much closer to the edge of the bed rather than the middle.

“Okay, okay! Stop! I’m getting up,” Kageyama grumbles, turning on his side and falling to the floor with a thud.

Just as Hinata turns around, he hears Kageyama clear his throat behind him.

“Okay, we’ve got to set some ground rules.”

“Oh? Okay…” Hinata says awkwardly. “What’s there to even do there? No one can see me except you.”

“That’s the problem. Okay. First, no disrupting my classes. I’m probably failing all of them, but I don’t need to fail them any more than now, got it?”

Hinata nods and Kageyama takes that as a signal to continue.

“Second, no stalking the volleyball team. Especially Kindaichi and Kunimi.”

“What? Wait, who are they?”

“Good.”

Hinata spares a glance at Kageyama’s clock and nearly shrieks. “Kageyama, the bus! It left already!”

“I’ll...walk.”

“Do you know the way there?”

“...Probably,” Kageyama says with a shrug and gets himself up to dust himself. “Do you think we can run?”

“Well--Yeah?”

“Okay. Let’s go.” Kageyama grabs his bag from his desk and is already halfway out the door.

“Wait, what about breakfast?” Hinata calls after him, trying to catch up.

“I never eat any.”

“What, that’s really bad for you. Here, I’ll throw you this orange.”

“OW! Hinata, what the hell?”

“You know what, forget the orange; let’s run.”

* * *

 

“ _Shit_.”

“Bwuh?”

“There’s a test today.”

“Oh, okay...Did you study?”

“...No.”

“OH OKAY. UH. Hurry! What’s the test about?!”

“That’s the thing. I have no idea.”

* * *

 

Hinata ends up following Kageyama all the way to the where the shoe lockers were, and surprisingly, Kageyama let him. Well, it could also be the fact that no one other than Kageyama could see him.

"Kageyama!" Hinata bounces towards him as they're walking to Kageyama's locker. "You know what? I think you're a really good setter too!"

"Eh. Oh, thanks, I guess," Kageyama says, and reaches his arm out to open his locker.

"Hey, what's with the 'I guess'?"

"Well, it's not really--" Kageyama stops mid sentence when a bunch of small slips of paper fly out of his locker. Hinata only looks in confusion and makes a small noise of surprise, but Kageyama scrambles to pick them up.

"This is..." Hinata picks one scrap of paper up and reads it.

_King_

__

Kageyama snatches the paper out of Hinata's hands, but Hinata scans over all of them, and they read the exact same thing.

"Kageyama...who did this?" Hinata says with a squeak, not exactly sure if someone leaving slips of paper with the word, King, is good or not. He had thought that Kageyama's nickname on the court had stood for something good, but now, he isn't so sure.

"No one," Kageyama answers curtly, the slight enthusiasm Hinata had saw this morning completely gone. "I'm going to be late for class."

"Kageyama, someone could have done this! Don't you want to know?"

"Honestly, Hinata? Not really, no." Kageyama answers, eyes flashing with irritation and turning on his heel to leave Hinata behind. "Just stay here, and I'll come and get you later."

"But--"

"Bye."

Hinata presses his lips together angrily and lets out something between a sigh and a shout.

He was so close too.

* * *

 

Kageyama walks alone to his first class, the sounds of his footsteps echoing across the empty hall. He didn't know why he feels so tense. All he knows is that if Hinata finds out what happened...Kageyama lets out a deep breath.

 

He doesn't know how Hinata would react. He never cared about how other people would react before but...

 

It's scary. It's scary not knowing how Hinata would take it.

 

As Kageyama closes his eyes and walks faster, he changes his mind.

 

It's not scary. It's terrifying.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay the reason I started this back up was because of this rly nice user who commented super encouraging things and I got back on it, but I still don't know if this really sucks so please give me feedback?


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